That awkward moment when Plan B kicks Plan A's butt

Truth.

Life is full of decisions and situations: some that we can control - others that are absolutely out of our control.

Most of us come up with a plan for our life, we set goals for our lives and we do our best to accomplish these goals so that we can have the best life possible. Some of us might not plan for our entire lives, but maybe for just our weeks or our days. We come up with a "Plan A",  shooting for the best possible outcome in our lives. But more often than not, these plans turn out completely different than we could have ever imagined and all of a sudden we need to come up with a Plan B. But if you're anything like me, you can hardly wrap your mind around Plan A, never mind having the time or the brain capacity to even come up with an idea for Plan B. So naturally, my whole world comes crashing down (at least in a figurative way, inside of my own head and having no actual truth to it).

So, it’s bound to happen - but what do we do when Plan A comes crashing down? Do we give up? Do we just screw it and stop making plans? Do we start assuming that Plan B is going to come around? 

You see the thing about Plan B is that you never see it coming. Plan B is always a surprise. Plan B comes out of left field every time. You can’t plan for Plan B. We never see it coming because Plan B isn't ours to plan. 

Plan B is Plan Believe

This is how it works: God envisioned a perfect plan for our lives when He created the world and all that’s in it. Then Adam and Eve came along and sinned and the whole deal. They messed it up for all of humanity (a perfect example of a Plan A crashing down, like I talked about earlier). But what does God end up doing? He does something completely unexpected. He literally sends His son down to the earth to die for all of humanity so that they can live with Him for all eternity in Heaven. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin we get to have eternal life...Didn’t see that coming!

After they “screwed it up” for all of humanity, Adam and Eve were probably thinking that their whole life was going to fall apart. They probably felt hopeless and guilty. They probably felt horrible about themselves. But God came through like He always does. He worked with the evil that they put upon themselves and made a Plan B for Adam and Eve and for all of us. And guess what - it’s actually better than Plan A,  because Plan B - Jesus Christ who is alive in an intimate way in our lives through His mercy and grace - would not have happened without it.

“O Happy Fault that gained for us so great a redeemer.”

So the next time your Plan A falls apart, the next time your hope is lost, the next time you feel like your whole life is crashing down - hold on tight because God is waiting to surprise you with Plan Believe, and you’re not going to see it coming.

"Therefore we have this hope as an anchor for the soul." - Hebrews 12:1

Get your hands a little dirty

"We don't win souls by standing on top of some ivory tower, we call them down to the world and tell them to come up." 

- Chris Stefanik

Today is an incredible day for the Catholic church. It's the feast of the North American Martyrs, and four of these are our patron saints here at Hard as Nails.  I came across this video today and it's absolutely worth the five minutes. Check out this video ---> North American Martyrs <--- in honor of the saints who have gone so courageously before us.  We always complain about how hard our lives are as christians but...

"You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." - Hebrews 12:4

The Hard as Nails Team at the North American Martyrs Shrine 

St. Kateri Tekakwitha

St. Issac Jogues

St. Rene Goupil

St. Jean DeLalande

Pray for us!

Some things just need to be shared

So I just sat down to work on a workbook that I'm writing for the ministry (I know, you're probably wondering how I have time to write a book when I can't even keep up with my blog!) ...when I suddenly got writers block - (you're probably also wondering if you should even continue to read this if that is the state that my brain is in right now. No but really, don't go!).

"I say to myself, I will not mention Him, I will not speak of His name. But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart." - Jeremiah 20:9 

I've seen and heard a lot since being on the road with Hard as Nails Ministries this past year. I can't hold in what God has done, because like Jeremiah,  it becomes like a fire  burning inside of me. God's work is meant to be shared. So I wanted to share a few grace-filled moments that I encountered while on the road this year as a way of saying thank you to everyone who has helped me out along the way. I hope you find these encouraging!

1.  I had a girl come up to me telling me that her dad committed suicide just 2 weeks prior to this particular event.  By the end of the event she told me "I don't know how I'm going to forgive him for killing himself and leaving my family alone here, but I know its what I have to do."

2.  I ran into a woman in Times Square in NYC who told me that it had been 18 years since being sober after being an alcoholic for 30 years. Her date of sobriety was the same day that my brother was killed by a drunk driver in that same year. We prayed together in the busy street and thanked Jesus for being faithful.

3.  I met a boy who struggled with pornography for 11 years and went to confession at one of the events and cried because of all the women he had taken advantage of.  He is on the path to freedom.

4.  I spoke with a girl after an event for an hour who struggled with depression, loneliness, self harm, anxiety, and an abusive family for her whole life.  No one ever told her that she was amazing until that day. 

5. I met a senior boy who never had a good relationship with his dad growing up.  He had so much pent up anger that he fell apart and cried in my arms. After, he told me that because of my testimony he had the courage to let his emotions out - he hadn't done that for 10 years.

These are just 5 of the thousands of stories I heard this year. You see, there is a lot going on out there in the world - but if we only focus on the pain we will miss the blessings that come from the pain.  Life if filled with so many struggles and hardships but we are meant to share them with others to encourage them and build them up. Please know that all of you are in my prayers as I continue my mission.

Check out these pics from the road and please consider donating to our online campaign, we have just hours left!  After Monday, July 15 please send donations to...

Hard as Nails Ministries 

P.O. Box 1085 

Paramus NJ 07653

"Above all, let your love for one another be intense, 

because love covers a multitude of sins" - 1 Peter 4:8

Love a jerk today

Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.

This is how I used to look at this:
1) I dont really have a lot of enemies - doesnt effect me.
2) I will work on that later, I have a bunch of other sins ans vices that I can work on first
3) Why would I love someone who acts like a jerk?

The short answer is that jerks need more love than anyone.

But the extended answer is that God has been teaching me a lot about loving others no matter what. The way that I used to look at Christianity was that if we were good people and were nice to others, then we'd be fine. But Jesus has a funny way of always taking it to the next level. Not only are we called to be more than just NICE we are called to love one another with an intense love! And not only are we called to love one another intensely... We are called to love the people who are hardest for us to love with that same intensity!  This is so crazy!

Seriously, think about it. Anyone can love someone who loves them back... But how much more does it mean when you love someone who isnt going to give you anything in return except maybe some curses and a punch in the face! We have to look at why we choose to love. If its for a response, then its not love at all. If we care for people when no one is looking just because we simply care...I think thats love.

Jesus certainly didnt love for a response! He hung out with the sinners and the ones who didnt love him back. He loved the people who crucified Him. Yea, He even loves us when we crucify him every time we sin. Romans 5:8 says, God proves His love for us in that while we were still ainners, Christ died for us." Here's the kicker - would you die for someone who was set out to crucify you? Or would you only die for those who love and accept you?  This is a question that we need to start thinking about because everybody has people who are easy to love as well as people who are not so easy to love in their lives. So today lets choose to love the person who treats you the worst. Its worth a shot because in the end, love always wins.

If it doesn't feel good - do it.

     One of my favorite quotes from Justin Fatica, executive director of Hard as Nails Ministries, is..."Feelings and emotions will pass away, but the truth will set you free!" It's a commonly heard phrase at HANM, but every time it comes up it hits the convicted button in my stomach. In a world where feelings and emotions rule most decisions, this is so counter cultural, but in the Christian world it is just everyday life. In the Christian world it doesn't matter if you feel like bringing the Gospel. It doesn't matter if you feel like praying. It doesn't matter if you feel like staying up and talking with someone who needs you. It doesn't matter if you feel like working out and offering it up for people suffering. It doesn't matter what you feel like doing because you know what? Jesus probably didn't feel like being crucified. 

     If Christ followed His feelings or emotions on the day that He woke up and anticipated the crucifixion - He probably wouldn't have even got out of bed that day! Instead, He realized that it didn't matter how He felt, He knew that He had to die for us because the truth is that we needed Him and we were counting on Him. The truth set Him free - He was free to love us whole-heartedly without holding anything back. PS - remember how Jesus was human? Oh yea, so are we. What if we didn't let feelings or emotions get in the way of loving other people? It's possible to be like Christ. It starts with the small day to day things like getting up early to pray or holding your tongue when you want to put somebody down. So. If it doesn't feel good - do it. Are you ready? It will be good practice for when your crucifixion comes. 

New Heart

     So. It's been literally MONTHS since I've blogged, but it's not because I've been lazy and sitting on my butt eating chocolate. In fact I have never been this busy in my entire life, and haven't felt so fulfilled in my entire life either! I'm working towards becoming the Director of the Missionary program with Hard as Nails Ministries, and let me tell you...it has been a crazy ride!! I'm mostly writing right now so that I can externally process everything (because I finally accepted the fact that I am a raging extrovert) but hopefully you will find it encouraging too.  I'm anticipating it being a bit lengthy - but I know you've been checking my page every day to see if I've posted since July!  Ok, maybe not, but I can dream right? :)

     Authenticity. It's a word that is used in the Hard as Nails office on a daily basis and if your not being authentic, you simply won't survive here. That was blunt AND authentic - see, I'm learning! So. Like I was saying, we are all about authenticity here and we don't like fakes. So let's get real.

     Life is hard. The Christian life is even harder. Looking deep into how you're living your Christian life is, yes you guessed it, freaking harder!  It's easy to glide through life without any self reflection, but what I am realizing is that it is NECESSARY if you want to grow! We have to go back to those places in our hearts that we really don't wanna go - if we intend to heal.  This isn't a new concept, it's been going on in the Church for 2012 years - and it dates back to the Last Supper when Christ instituted the Eucharist.  He said "do this in remembrance of me."  This is what the Mass is. Going back to crucifixion, the suffering and death that Christ endured.  But why do we need to go back there, you ask?  Because without the crucifixion, suffering and death - there would be no resurrection! It is in the Mass that we go back to the pain and suffering that Christ felt for us and it is there that we receive new life through it!
 
     It is the same in our own lives.  I just got back from a 12 day trip in LA with Hard as Nails Ministries and almost every day that we were there I had to share my testimony - sometimes twice in a day.  At first I was afraid because I don't particularly like public speaking, but after sharing my story event after event after event after event - I realized that it wasn't the people in front of me that caused the anxiety.  It was the fact that I was going back to those places in my heart that hurt and that weren't easy to relive.  I was sharing a piece of my heart with thousands of people who I never met in my life - it's not easy to share your heart of hearts even with those closest to you. But it was on this trip that I realized that this is the exact way that we are called to grow.

     Just this week I was praying with a passage from the book of Ezekiel (36:26). It says, "I will give you a New Heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."  I have heard this verse many times, I even had it on a post-it note on my desk, but I don't think I have truly experienced it until began this journey with Hard as Nails. By going back to those places in my heart that hurt and sharing them with others - Christ was literally ripping out my stony heart and beginning to heal me.  I'm not going to lie, it's pretty painful, but I am seeing that it is worth the struggle so I can get that heart of flesh.  He is softening my heart so that I can love more freely.  Sometimes its a messy process, but a beautiful one for sure.

   The other good news is that we have a name for the Hard as Nails Missionary program now - it's called "New Heart" missionary program.  It's because this same thing that is happening to my heart, is happening to all those who are involved in HANM - I think we have authenticity to blame for that.  Which is a good thing, because fakes are annoying and well...fake. It's tough to work with fake, but God blesses those who are real with Him.

I don't have time to proof read this, so you're gonna have to deal with my grammatical mistakes - deal with it, I'm just being authentic ;)  Oh ok, how about a shameless plug - please consider donating to the "New Heart" Missionary Program  - I still need $3,000 by January. Message me for more information. Thanks for your support, you're amazing!!!

Then the Lord said, "Get outside of yourself for once."

     You know those times when prayer is going great, Jesus is being nice and affirming you, and letting you just stay up on cloud 9 for a while, absolutely comfy and content just where you are? Well this is certainly not one of those times in my life right now.  Almost all of my very being is telling me to ask God to let me jump back up to cloud 9 again...until the words of Pope Benedict XVI  came to my mind.  He said, "You were NOT made for comfort, you were made for GREATNESS!"  The Lord is taking me through a time of purification (1 Peter 1:7) that, deep down, I know is good for me...but...shoot! It is SO uncomfortable!

     The Lord told me this - and these are His words, not mine - "Get outside of yourself for once, Teresa." 


     OUCH.

     Nobody likes to hear these words, especially from GOD!  When I first heard the Lord telling me this, I got so defensive.  I said to Him, "What do you mean for ONCE? Really? Get OUTSIDE of myself? Seriously? Lord, I dedicated my four years in college to you and now I'm a missionary. What else can I do?!"


     A little while after my defensive rant, God hit me with another 2x4.  He said to me, "I need you to be weak for once, Teresa." My first thoughts were, "This doesn't make sense. God, you've called me to work for your kingdom - I need to stay strong for You and for other people.  I can't be weak, I can do it if I just keep plowing through."  He showed me that my desire to be strong for Him was actually this huge pride thing that I have going on in my heart.  I always feel the need to fix everything on my own.  I have a hard time asking others for help - and if I do, I tend to like my way better.  My need to be strong, and perfect, and the best isn't because I want to do my best for God - it was because I want to do my best so that I don't make a mistake. Fear. Take a risk, "Get outside of yourself for once." 

St. Paul wrote about being weak in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10...
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong."


So I guess the point of this post is to follow the example of St. Paul and boast of my weaknesses, and maybe even encourage you to do the same and we can be weak together.

Jesus, be my strength during this time of purification.