Love a jerk today

Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.

This is how I used to look at this:
1) I dont really have a lot of enemies - doesnt effect me.
2) I will work on that later, I have a bunch of other sins ans vices that I can work on first
3) Why would I love someone who acts like a jerk?

The short answer is that jerks need more love than anyone.

But the extended answer is that God has been teaching me a lot about loving others no matter what. The way that I used to look at Christianity was that if we were good people and were nice to others, then we'd be fine. But Jesus has a funny way of always taking it to the next level. Not only are we called to be more than just NICE we are called to love one another with an intense love! And not only are we called to love one another intensely... We are called to love the people who are hardest for us to love with that same intensity!  This is so crazy!

Seriously, think about it. Anyone can love someone who loves them back... But how much more does it mean when you love someone who isnt going to give you anything in return except maybe some curses and a punch in the face! We have to look at why we choose to love. If its for a response, then its not love at all. If we care for people when no one is looking just because we simply care...I think thats love.

Jesus certainly didnt love for a response! He hung out with the sinners and the ones who didnt love him back. He loved the people who crucified Him. Yea, He even loves us when we crucify him every time we sin. Romans 5:8 says, God proves His love for us in that while we were still ainners, Christ died for us." Here's the kicker - would you die for someone who was set out to crucify you? Or would you only die for those who love and accept you?  This is a question that we need to start thinking about because everybody has people who are easy to love as well as people who are not so easy to love in their lives. So today lets choose to love the person who treats you the worst. Its worth a shot because in the end, love always wins.

If it doesn't feel good - do it.

     One of my favorite quotes from Justin Fatica, executive director of Hard as Nails Ministries, is..."Feelings and emotions will pass away, but the truth will set you free!" It's a commonly heard phrase at HANM, but every time it comes up it hits the convicted button in my stomach. In a world where feelings and emotions rule most decisions, this is so counter cultural, but in the Christian world it is just everyday life. In the Christian world it doesn't matter if you feel like bringing the Gospel. It doesn't matter if you feel like praying. It doesn't matter if you feel like staying up and talking with someone who needs you. It doesn't matter if you feel like working out and offering it up for people suffering. It doesn't matter what you feel like doing because you know what? Jesus probably didn't feel like being crucified. 

     If Christ followed His feelings or emotions on the day that He woke up and anticipated the crucifixion - He probably wouldn't have even got out of bed that day! Instead, He realized that it didn't matter how He felt, He knew that He had to die for us because the truth is that we needed Him and we were counting on Him. The truth set Him free - He was free to love us whole-heartedly without holding anything back. PS - remember how Jesus was human? Oh yea, so are we. What if we didn't let feelings or emotions get in the way of loving other people? It's possible to be like Christ. It starts with the small day to day things like getting up early to pray or holding your tongue when you want to put somebody down. So. If it doesn't feel good - do it. Are you ready? It will be good practice for when your crucifixion comes. 

New Heart

     So. It's been literally MONTHS since I've blogged, but it's not because I've been lazy and sitting on my butt eating chocolate. In fact I have never been this busy in my entire life, and haven't felt so fulfilled in my entire life either! I'm working towards becoming the Director of the Missionary program with Hard as Nails Ministries, and let me tell you...it has been a crazy ride!! I'm mostly writing right now so that I can externally process everything (because I finally accepted the fact that I am a raging extrovert) but hopefully you will find it encouraging too.  I'm anticipating it being a bit lengthy - but I know you've been checking my page every day to see if I've posted since July!  Ok, maybe not, but I can dream right? :)

     Authenticity. It's a word that is used in the Hard as Nails office on a daily basis and if your not being authentic, you simply won't survive here. That was blunt AND authentic - see, I'm learning! So. Like I was saying, we are all about authenticity here and we don't like fakes. So let's get real.

     Life is hard. The Christian life is even harder. Looking deep into how you're living your Christian life is, yes you guessed it, freaking harder!  It's easy to glide through life without any self reflection, but what I am realizing is that it is NECESSARY if you want to grow! We have to go back to those places in our hearts that we really don't wanna go - if we intend to heal.  This isn't a new concept, it's been going on in the Church for 2012 years - and it dates back to the Last Supper when Christ instituted the Eucharist.  He said "do this in remembrance of me."  This is what the Mass is. Going back to crucifixion, the suffering and death that Christ endured.  But why do we need to go back there, you ask?  Because without the crucifixion, suffering and death - there would be no resurrection! It is in the Mass that we go back to the pain and suffering that Christ felt for us and it is there that we receive new life through it!
 
     It is the same in our own lives.  I just got back from a 12 day trip in LA with Hard as Nails Ministries and almost every day that we were there I had to share my testimony - sometimes twice in a day.  At first I was afraid because I don't particularly like public speaking, but after sharing my story event after event after event after event - I realized that it wasn't the people in front of me that caused the anxiety.  It was the fact that I was going back to those places in my heart that hurt and that weren't easy to relive.  I was sharing a piece of my heart with thousands of people who I never met in my life - it's not easy to share your heart of hearts even with those closest to you. But it was on this trip that I realized that this is the exact way that we are called to grow.

     Just this week I was praying with a passage from the book of Ezekiel (36:26). It says, "I will give you a New Heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."  I have heard this verse many times, I even had it on a post-it note on my desk, but I don't think I have truly experienced it until began this journey with Hard as Nails. By going back to those places in my heart that hurt and sharing them with others - Christ was literally ripping out my stony heart and beginning to heal me.  I'm not going to lie, it's pretty painful, but I am seeing that it is worth the struggle so I can get that heart of flesh.  He is softening my heart so that I can love more freely.  Sometimes its a messy process, but a beautiful one for sure.

   The other good news is that we have a name for the Hard as Nails Missionary program now - it's called "New Heart" missionary program.  It's because this same thing that is happening to my heart, is happening to all those who are involved in HANM - I think we have authenticity to blame for that.  Which is a good thing, because fakes are annoying and well...fake. It's tough to work with fake, but God blesses those who are real with Him.

I don't have time to proof read this, so you're gonna have to deal with my grammatical mistakes - deal with it, I'm just being authentic ;)  Oh ok, how about a shameless plug - please consider donating to the "New Heart" Missionary Program  - I still need $3,000 by January. Message me for more information. Thanks for your support, you're amazing!!!

Then the Lord said, "Get outside of yourself for once."

     You know those times when prayer is going great, Jesus is being nice and affirming you, and letting you just stay up on cloud 9 for a while, absolutely comfy and content just where you are? Well this is certainly not one of those times in my life right now.  Almost all of my very being is telling me to ask God to let me jump back up to cloud 9 again...until the words of Pope Benedict XVI  came to my mind.  He said, "You were NOT made for comfort, you were made for GREATNESS!"  The Lord is taking me through a time of purification (1 Peter 1:7) that, deep down, I know is good for me...but...shoot! It is SO uncomfortable!

     The Lord told me this - and these are His words, not mine - "Get outside of yourself for once, Teresa." 


     OUCH.

     Nobody likes to hear these words, especially from GOD!  When I first heard the Lord telling me this, I got so defensive.  I said to Him, "What do you mean for ONCE? Really? Get OUTSIDE of myself? Seriously? Lord, I dedicated my four years in college to you and now I'm a missionary. What else can I do?!"


     A little while after my defensive rant, God hit me with another 2x4.  He said to me, "I need you to be weak for once, Teresa." My first thoughts were, "This doesn't make sense. God, you've called me to work for your kingdom - I need to stay strong for You and for other people.  I can't be weak, I can do it if I just keep plowing through."  He showed me that my desire to be strong for Him was actually this huge pride thing that I have going on in my heart.  I always feel the need to fix everything on my own.  I have a hard time asking others for help - and if I do, I tend to like my way better.  My need to be strong, and perfect, and the best isn't because I want to do my best for God - it was because I want to do my best so that I don't make a mistake. Fear. Take a risk, "Get outside of yourself for once." 

St. Paul wrote about being weak in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10...
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong."


So I guess the point of this post is to follow the example of St. Paul and boast of my weaknesses, and maybe even encourage you to do the same and we can be weak together.

Jesus, be my strength during this time of purification.

Ladies: Don't settle

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man 

has to seek Him just to find her." 

- Max Lucado -

A musical analogy for the missionary

Have you ever read something that sticks out to you in the bible once, and then twice, and then like 20 more times within a month!? This keeps happening to me, and I think it must be the answer to a prayer that I say all too often asking God to be "ridiculously clear" when He's trying to tell me something because it takes me a while to actually catch on to the message that He's trying to get through to me.  Well here's the scripture verse that keeps coming up for me...maybe it's just me who needs to hear this message, but I hope you find it encouraging as well...


"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28


So what does this mean?  It means that when we are doing God's work...He's going to take care of us!  That's all there is to it.  God will provide.  This is truth, when we lay down our will, our desires, and our entire lives for the sake of doing the work of the Lord...He. will. provide.  We all "have been called according to His purpose."  The fact that He created you means that He has a plan and a purpose for your life, and that purpose is to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him (yes...that was a reference to the Baltimore Catechism haha). Doing God's work takes a lot of trust that He is going to provide the means for us to do this.  Think about it, why would He send us on a mission without any supplies or instruction.  If He didn't provide what we needed, His work would not get done.

So here's the analogy: It would be like a piano teacher telling his students that they are going to have a concert for the whole town and that he wants them to play thirty songs that he couldn't remember the names of, and of which he lost the sheet music to.  He doesn't even tell them where the concert is, or what day or time they should show up.  But he keeps stressing the importance of the concert and the number of people who are counting on them to show up and perform for them...

...anybody else have a feeling that this concert has no chance of happening?

You see, God has not given us a mission and left us without any instruction like this piano teacher did. We don't always know the whole plan, but when the time is right, He gradually gives us the tools, or the "sheet music" along the way that we need for the mission in which He has called us. God is a good teacher, He knows exactly when we are ready for what He is going to put in front of us.  But in order for us to be able to handle whatever He puts in front of us...we need to be good "sight-readers." And to be a good sight-reader, we need the help of our model and teacher - Christ.  God wrote us a whole book (the bible) on how to live out the mission to which He has called us.  He has given us the sacraments, especially the Eucharist and confession, to give us strength for our journey and mercy for when we take the wrong path.  God is always intervening and guiding us by the work of the Holy Spirit so that He can give us what we need to do His work.  Trust that He will take you note by note, and page by page as he writes the song of your life! Trust that the Lord will provide exactly what you need, exactly when you need it, and don't forget to have fun while you do it!  Living a life dedicated to the work of the Lord is exciting and brings joy that can only be found in serving Him.  Don't forget to smile :)

Let go

"Offer fitting sacrifice and trust in the Lord." - Psalm 4:6